When You Want to Scream

thescream2Sometimes, you just want to scream.  But you’re an adult.  You’re a parent.  You can’t.  You shouldn’t.  But you want to, you need to.   You’re tired, you’re stretched too thin, you’re anxious and you don’t know where the bottom is.  And knowing that you are the one in charge doesn’t make you feel powerful, it scares you.  Because you haven’t a clue what’s going on, let alone how to take care of everything.

Now.  That’s how you feel now.  Or sometimes.  Or Tuesday when the garbage disposal breaks and  you’ve just found out your firm’s downsizing and you’re coming down with that flu even though you got the flu shot and you’re…stretched too thin.   So when your 8 year old calls you for the third time in 5 minutes, you scream at him.  And when the twins won’t stop quarreling you scream at them. 

Or:  You step into a hot shower, and scream.  You turn up the Motown and dance around the apartment, and scream.  You mimic Liza as Sally Bowles in Cabaret, wait for the train to pass, and scream.  You turn into a monster, run into your kid’s room, and scream. 

Because every once in a while, it helps to let it out full blast. Just for a few minutes.  So scream, and breathe, and let it go.   Just not at the kids…

Copyright © 2009 Marlin S. Potash. All rights reserved.

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2 responses to “When You Want to Scream

  1. … Post traumatic Stress Syndrome: is it in your family or friend that has been to Iraq or Iraqi freedom tours or the Persian Gulf or to Afghanistan. Or has returned from a tour of those countries. Or having anything to do with those wars in distress. Who knows, if you are thinking of sending anyone to the Marine Corps. Or to the US. Army. Think again, you may as well be in the habit of …”looking down the barrel of a ’45 automatic”…. Or is that your thing, your norm. Your anxiety against that thing that you are coping with dealing with and depressed in…Can the National PTSD council help you? Can the help/support groups’ help you can the family and friends that claim they “are by your side”, help you. What kind of help are you really in need of. Is it the help that would allow you to stop thinking of all those that you were a witness to when they died. A Witness to them being killed. Or you being a witness to your own hands killing or torturing another human being. Is the help you need, something that would allow you to forget what your “mind’s eye” seen while you were on ‘tour of duty’ in which ever war you were in. And your intelligence told you it was really the wrong thing to do or witness being done. But the peer pressure that is very, very high in the armed forces; did this peer pressure keep you in line with the status quo. The status quo of going along to get along. Is the kind of help you need, something that you truthfully can’t even talk to your parents, your wife, your girlfriend or significant other or even a so called friend. You can’t talk to any of them about your REAL POST TRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME-The real thing-the syndrome that you are dealing with right now. Even as you read this blogg. Fearing that that person that you are suppose to trust with your most secret of secrets, would not be able to understand what is going on in your mind. Fearing worst, this so called trusted person would just say you that you …”should get some help professionally”.., or something to that effect. Or something to the effect that Jeff, from the US Marine Corps; was counseled with. Even his room mates that he fought side by side with. They did not see what he was being turned into right before their own eyes. His buddies at war did not understand Jeff’s dilemma. Between them and his own mental health. How many more human beings will have to be turned into “human killing machines” before and being diagnosed as having PTSS and the like? And those who after Forgetting case after case after case, only to register the next victim into the United States Armed forces. Another victim of the current system to which we now live. So before you approve and or encourage your son/daughter or husband/wife, significant other into the armed forces. To learn to kill another human being. Think again and look into the ordeals of those who having been diagnosed with PTSS. Only weeks or days or months later they have been forgotten and re-introduced into society to fend for themselves. Many of them have committed suicide…this is something to screem about

  2. Or when you’re trying to remind your son to get a note from the office about missing a band rally that caused his grade to drop – when he needs the highest GPA he can get because you’re about to be buying car insurance for him and his GPA makes a BIG difference in how much you’ll pay, and he doesn’t seem to care one whit about making the effort to get that note.

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