Flying Solo

772-1233160885yy0lYou’ve just lost your job. Or your relationship just ended. Or maybe your kid has left for college or gotten married or moved to another state.

You’re alone, and you are not liking it at all. Cut off, cut loose, and not cut out for all this time alone. You’re feeling out of touch and out of sorts, and if one more person tells you to be optimistic you are going to scream.

Well, here I come. Scream away. Because there are some terrific things about being alone, even if it’s not your first choice (or your dying wish). So if you are alone, for now, you’ve really got two choices: bemoan your fate, or revel in it. Oh sure, you’ve got to do the whole lamenting, grieving, accepting thing; but that isn’t supposed to take the rest of your life. If things have changed, and you’re now one of one, instead of two or many, well, time to get on with it! Enjoy the ride!

We are born alone (unless we’re a multiple), and we die alone. And in between, it comes in really handy to be able to know oneself, to take care of oneself, and to like oneself. So use this time alone to do just that. Get to know yourself, not defined by your work or your relationships and how other people see you. Get to know how you see yourself. And if you don’t like it, well, change it! And if you can’t change it, accept it and move right along. Because it’s time to know your own mind, follow your own heart, and do your own thing. It’s time to believe in yourself, be good to yourself, and hold yourself to the standards of your own, internal “shoulds” rather than anyone else’s.

Fly solo. Take the measure of your strengths and vulnerabilities, appreciate the solitude, and soar…

You’re not going to be alone forever. When the time comes to be “with”, well it’s nice to know you’ve come to know and enjoy the pleasure of your own company.

Copyright © 2009 Marlin S. Potash. All rights reserved.

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One response to “Flying Solo

  1. Oh my… appropriate for my present situation. My rational brain says all this yet I’m waiting for that moment when I really believe it. It will be bookmarked… maybe enlightenment will follow. You are right… ‘with’ seems to always happen anyway, even after decades.

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