People often act as if there are only two ways to handle anger:
They explode when they “will no longer put up with this!” They yell, threaten, force, demand, even destroy to prove they are right, not afraid, can win.
They swallow it, believing it critical not to appear too angry, not to let others know their outrage. They “rise above it,” they “let it go.”
But here’s the thing:
You can BE, LOOK, FEEL angry, too angry, outraged, too outraged… any feeling at all.
But you appear stronger when you BEHAVE in measured fashion. When you can decide if and when to express what you are feeling, why you are feeling it, what you will/won’t do, what you expect of others. That gives the impression you are strong enough to contain your (very strong) feelings, and put them to optimal use: showing self-control and control of the situation.
That the feelings don’t run the show, you do: a person who has strong feelings, a strong intellect, and the capacity to determine the course of action taken – by herself/himself and (by extension) by others.
Copyright © 2011 Marlin S. Potash. All rights reserved.